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Sonia Pressman Fuentes
"Eating Out"
From
Eat
First -- You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter
by Sonia Pressman Fuentes |
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Contact Ms. Fuentes at: spfuentes@comcast.net |
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"IN OUR
OWN WORDS" debuts
From the April 11, 2001, issue of Writer's Bloc
Online, the
e-newsletter of the National Writers Union:
We're tremendously pleased and proud this week to
feature Sonia Pressman Fuentes in the debut of "IN OUR OWN
WORDS," a new column showcasing the work of NWU-DC members. We hope
you find this morsel of Sonia's writing as tasty as we do and encourage
you to get the whole meal in her book
Eat
First -- You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter. |
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Eating Out
I love to dine out and do it every chance I get. I have no doubt it's
because my family so rarely ate out. It was customary for us to eat at
home. My mother didn't seem to mind cooking three meals a day; after all,
it was for her family, the focal point of her life. And my father loved
to eat at home.
I can't recall an occasion when my parents and I were invited to dinner at
someone's home--other than for simkhes-- celebrations--at the home of my
brother and his wife. In my parents' set, people ate at home.
Once in a while, however, on a rare occasion--a Jewish holiday, a time when we
were out of town--the family would eat at a restaurant. It was always a
disaster.
We'd sally forth to the restaurant, but none of us would be happy about it.
My father was unhappy because he didn't like spending money for restaurant
food; my mother was unhappy because my father was unhappy; and I was unhappy
because we were going to a kosher restaurant, to eat the same food I'd gotten
three times a day for every day of my life. I wanted to taste shrimp,
lobster, and Chinese food, but those were not kosher and, therefore, forbidden.
"Verem," was the word my mother used derogatorily to refer to
shrimp--"worms." "If I served you something at home that
looked like that, you'd never eat it," she'd say. "But in a
restaurant, it's good."
During and after the meal, something always went wrong. The food
didn't taste right. It wasn't cooked sufficiently. The bill was too
high. My father would refuse to leave an adequate tip; my mother would be
embarrassed and they'd wrangle about it. I'd want to escape through a
hole in the floor. Or my father would get sick days after the meal and
point to the restaurant as the culprit.
On one occasion, in the middle of the dinner, my father developed a
nosebleed, and we had to leave our meals half-eaten and rush home so he could
lie down. It only proved what he'd known all along. It was always a
mistake to eat out.
My parents were similarly wary of eating at other people's homes and rarely
did so. As I grew up, however, I would receive dinner invitations from
friends from time to time. Mother, with typical Jewish angst, would say
to me, "Eat first--you don't know what they'll give you." She
wanted me to have a complete dinner at home before going out. She knew
all the ingredients she used would be fresh, kosher, and geshmak--tasty.
Who knew what one might get on the outside?
Copyright© 1999 by Sonia Pressman Fuentes
Read More:
- Jewish Geography -- this story was first published in October 1998 in Der Bay, the newsletter of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs. Here, both the English version and a version in transliterated Yiddish are available in pdf format.
- Return to Germany -- the story of Sonia’s return to Germany in 1978 to speak about the women’s rights revolution in the US for the then-US Information Agency (USIA), published on the website of The Jewish Writing Project on Jan. 19, 2009.
- If
You Speak His Language --This piece was published in Tzum Punkt (Nov.-Dec. 1999, Vol. 1, No. 2) p. 5, the newsletter of Yiddish of Greater Washington.
- Thai
Silk --
This piece was first published in the Common Law Lawyer and then on the websites of whispersmagazine.com, iagora.com, and BankgokAtoZ.com
(September 2001).
- Florida
and Beyond -- This excerpt appeared on May 25, 2001, in
the
Story Lady e-newsletter and on its website,
the Jewish Frontier, the Jewish Internet
magazine, the Jewish Magazine online, the e-zine,
Home-Based Working Moms, and the Writer Online.
Terry Boothman, the editor of the Writer Online,
had this to say about it in the January 14, 2003, issue that
carried the story:
Everyone's
life is interesting, right? Sure. So, everyone should write
a memoir, right? Yeah, why not.. And everyone should publish
a memoir, right? Good Lord, no. Because not everyone knows
how to write a publishable memoir, which means a memoir
that lots of other people will enjoy reading. Sonia Pressman
Fuentes, one of the founders of the National Organization
for Women, published just such a memoir--"Eat First--You
Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant
Family and Their Feminist Daughter." Now, in How I
Got My Mink Stole, excerpted from that memoir, you can get
a glimpse of exactly how good memoirs are written.
- Weinberg's
Glasses - the story of what happened when Sonia's father found a pair of eyeglasses.
- Sex
Maniac -- the story of the Second Wave of the women's
movement and Fuentes' role in it.
- Harry
Golden and "the Coat" -- Sonia Fuentes sues
Harry Golden, published in Jewish Currents, June 16,
1997.
- How
I Got My Mink Stole -- a lengthy struggle with an
unexpected denouement.
- Eating
Out -- published in the April 11, 2001, issue of Writer's
Bloc Online, the e-newsletter of the National Writers
Union.
- Graduating
With My Class -- Fuentes' desire to graduate with her
high school class has a significant consequence. Published
originally in the Catskill/Hudson Jewish Star 6.2 (June 1996)
17.1 and then on Harry
Leichter's website.
- Mother and the Night School -- published in the December 2001, issue of Kolot, A World of Jewish Voices.
- Catskills Stories -- Some of Fuentes' stories about her experiences in the Catskill Mountains of New York State may be found at the Museum of Family History.
Book Ordering Information |
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Fuentes -- Photographs |
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Sonia’s mother, early 1900s
Germany, circa 1930
Berlin, circa 1930
Germany, circa 1930
In Toy Car, circa 1930
Germany, circa 1930
Germany, 1931
Berlin Shop, 1931
Germany, 1932
Belgium, 1933-34
Belgium, 1933-34
Belgium, 1934
Cornell, 1950
University of Miami, 1956
Washington, DC, 1966
Washington, DC, 1968
Washington, DC, 1993
Coral Gables, 1990s
Sarasota, 1990s
Plainfield, 1998
Women's Hall of Fame
At the Capitol, 2000
Meadows Players, 2001
Piltz Library, 2001
Piltz, Poland, 2001
Sarasota, March 2002
Sarasota, April 2002
Lewin Studio, 2003
Alice Award, 2003
Book Signing, 2003
Teaching English, 2003
Book Bag Replica, 2004
AILF Awards, 2005
Foremothers Awards, 2005
IAYC Conference, 2005
Alice Paul Award, 2005
National Woman's Party, 2006
Potomac, MD, 2006
Bozeman, MT, 2007
CLEA Course, 2007
Cornell University, 2008
Montreal, Canada, 2008
Cornell University, 2009
Close shot at Cornell, 2009
Sarasota, FL, 2009
Sarasota, FL, 2009
Sarasota, FL, 2009
Rockville, MD, 2009
Sarasota, FL, 2009
Sarasota, FL, 2009
Oxford, London, Wales, 2009
Sarasota, FL, Feb. 2010
Bradenton, FL, Feb 2010
Siesta Key, FL, Feb 2010
Sarasota, FL, Feb 2010
Bradenton, FL, Mar 2010
Sarasota, FL, Mar. 2010
Birthday, May 2010
Chautauqua, NY, 2010
Sarasota, FL, July 2010
Bat Mitzvah, March, 2011
Washington, DC, March 2011
Sarasota, FL, March, 2011
Sarasota, FL, April, 2011
Washington, DC, Mar 2011
Tampa, FL, Jun 2011
Sarasota, FL, July 2011
Chautauqua, NY, July 2011
Chautauqua, NY, July 2011
Sarasota, FL, August 2011
Berlin, Germany, Sept 2011
Germany, Belgium, Sept 2011
Antwerp, Belgium, Sept 2011
Antwerp, Sept. 11-13,2011
Sarasota, FL, Nov 2011
Sarasota, FL, Nov 2011
Sarasota, FL, Dec 2011
Sarasota, FL, Dec 2011
Sarasota, FL, Jan 2012
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